


It all started with a snake bite

by winstonlives



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Domestic, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Phil's not as innocent as he lets on, Pre-Relationship, Rimming, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Swearing, university mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:30:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7635082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winstonlives/pseuds/winstonlives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan accidentally turns Phil on.  Ribena gets all over the couch.  While cleaning it up Dan finds out some surprising, and arousing things about Phil's university life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It all started with a snake bite

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously this turned out smuttier, and much longer than I had originally planned. It was supposed to be smut free humor! A well, I'll just have to live with the way it is. If smut is not your thing, stay the hecky dizzle away. ;) 
> 
> obviously this is fiction... the whole thing. bla bla bla. 
> 
> Enjoy guys!

Phil walked into the lounge, and stopped in his tracks. Dan had two rings hanging from his bottom lip. He was sitting in his browsing position, laptop on his thighs scrolling like normal. He didn't look up at Phil, but continued like nothing was different. He absentmindedly sucked one of the silver rings into his mouth licking it. Phil stood and stared, look of confusion spread across his face. “Um Dan, what the hell are you doing?”

Dan didn’t look up, “What does it look like Phil? I’m browsing the tumbs.” 

“I mean why on earth do you have those things on your lip? Where did you even find those? We made that video ages ago.” Phil said walking over to his end of the couch still looking at Dan. He couldn't seem to stop. 

“I cleaned the bathroom today and found them, don’t worry I washed them before I put them on this time. I thought it would be fun to wear them again. And I was right, I’m enjoying just licking them randomly.” He said demonstrating. He looked at Phil for the first time since he entered the room. He bit on one and released it. “Why? Does it bother you, or something? You look weird.” 

“Why would it bother me, it’s your face. I was just surprised is all. I wasn't expecting to see those things again. I like how they look actually.” Phil said sitting back and picking up his laptop. 

“So you said before. I like how they look too, but mostly I like how they feel.” Dan said once again running his tongue over them.

They sat in silence for a while, both scrolling through emails, tumblr, YouTube etc. “I wonder what it would be like to kiss someone with these on.” Dan said nonchalantly, not looking up from his computer, continuing his scrolling. Phil on the other hand stopped and looked at Dan. 

“Dunno, use your imagination I guess. I always wondered too. I kissed a guy with a tongue ring once, it was interesting. I like piercings actually. There was this girl named Sarah I had a thing for in uni that had snakebites, and every time I saw her I couldn't stop staring at her mouth. I wanted to kiss her to see what it felt like. I heard her nipples were pierced too. I’m mildly disappointed I was too chicken to make a move. My friend told me she had a thing for me, but he told me after she was dating some other guy for about 3 months. Doesn't matter though, she was definitely too cool for me.” Phil shrugged, looking back at his screen. 

“What was the guy's name?” Dan asked interestedly. 

“What guy?” Phil said not looking up. 

“The guy with the tongue ring.” 

“Oh, him. Ummm I think it was Keith...no wait, Kenneth...Karl...I dunno, something that started with a K. It was at a party we barely knew each other. He was a friend of a friend of a friend. Good looking though. Taller than me by a few inches, brown hair, dark eyes, I assume they were brown, it was dark. He had a great ass.” Phil said smirking, at the memory. “The tongue ring glowed in the dark, it was cool. I was sat next to him on the couch and noticed it. Asked him if it hurt when he got it done. Which proceeded to a conversation about it, leading to us making out. He asked if I wanted to know what it felt like when kissing. So of course that’s what we did. He eventually asked if I wanted to feel it elsewhere, “ Phil looked at his lap “So I said sure.” 

“And…?” 

“And what?”

“And did he show you how it felt, ummm in other places.” Dan said turning to look at Phil. 

“Oh, yeah. It was good. It didn’t seem to do too much, but it was interesting. He knew what he was doing.” Phil said smiling. “I enjoyed it.” 

“So, I take it you didn’t date him? How come you don’t remember his name?” Dan asked, playing with with the rings on his lip. 

“No we didn’t date.” Phil said chuckling. “He was nice, and cute and everything but we just hooked up at the party. It was a wild party, you don’t really start a relationship like that, he wasn't the only person I fooled around with that night.” 

“Jesus Phil, what kind of party was this?’

“Just a normal Saturday night for us, really.” Phil shrugged and looked back at his laptop. 

Dan stared at Phil. He knew Phil had gotten around a bit at university but didn’t know he got around that much. He had heard stories before obviously, they had been friends for years so it wasn't too surprising, but casual-sex-Phil rarely showed his head. “Like how many more people?” 

“Dunno, I mean it wasn't too unusual. So that one night barely sticks out in my mind. I only remember him (barely) because of the tongue ring. I mean I can’t even remember his name properly...maybe it was Sam. OK yeah, I actually have no idea. I thought it started with a K but now that I think about it I think it was an S. The K guy was a different party.” 

“Jesus Phil, why did I not know about this stuff until now. What happened with the K guy?” Dan setting his laptop aside, leaned over and picked up his forgotten lukewarm ribena on the coffee table. 

“Oh, he was fun I remember, first time I got a rim job.” Phil said coolly. 

Dan mid-drink sprayed ridena all over the couch and himself. “What the hell Phil! You can’t just say things like that without giving a guy some warning.” Dan said wiping his dripping chin. He stood up and went to the kitchen to get a towel to clean up. 

Dan returned to the lounge, Phil sat smirking on the couch, “How would you suggest I warn you? I mean should I hold up a sign saying “#rimming” like a tumblr tag? Besides why is that such a big deal? You know about my uni life. I didn’t think it would illicit you spitting everywhere.” 

“I mean the act itself doesn't surprise me that much, it was just a left turn in the conversation. We were talking about tongue rings and piercings, and then bam- rim job! What do you mean your first? How many have you had?” Dan said as he dabbed at the spots on the couch. That’s going to stain, he thought to himself. 

“I don’t know, it's not like I keep a tally of them in a notebook or something. I enjoy them, so I got them as often as I could.” Phil said watching Dan examine the spots on the couch. “That’s going to stain you know. Squeeze it, maybe that will help soak it into the towel.” 

“Ballpark figure Phil, 3, 20, 87?” Dan said as he started to squeeze the spots on the couch, it seemed to help a little. 

“Probably closer to 20, not 87.” Phil shrugged. He put his laptop on the table, got up and walked out of the room. 

Dan sat down and watched wide eyed as Phil left. “Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to get something to clean up your mess.” Phil said as he walked into the hall and down to the laundry area of the house. He returned a few moments later with some spot remover, a sponge, and a bowl of warm water. “If you weren’t such a drama queen sometimes this would never have happened.” He said kneeling in front of the couch and pushing Dan’s hands away. 

“So what else haven't you told me about your wild nights during uni?” Dan said leaning back watching Phil spray a stain. 

“Probably a lot. It’s not like I am ashamed or anything, it just never comes up really.” Phil shrugged dabbing the spots with the damp sponge. “I think this is working. Look”

Dan leaned forward looking at the one spot out of many. “It looks like it I guess, we’ll have to wait to see after they dry. So have you given a rim job?”

“A few, I guess I’m pretty good at it too. My pointy tongue, you know.” Phil shrugged as he worked on another spot. He stuck out his tongue to illustrate. 

Dan's dick made a little unexpected twitch. He coughed. “OK, so did you like doing that?” 

“Yeah I guess. I like pleasing people.” Phil said without skipping a beat. “I mean it isn’t much different than eating out a girl. A little less wet, but besides that…” he shrugged. “I feel like I am on the weirdest talk show ever. Being interviewed about my sex-life while I clean spots off a couch. I don’t think there is much market for it.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interview you.” Dan said blushing slightly, “S’just you don’t normally speak so candidly about sex. What’s gotten into you today?” 

“I think it was you actually.” Phil said shrugging, moving to another spot on the cushion.

“What on earth is that supposed to mean?” Dan said taken aback. 

“I dunno, just seeing you with those things on your mouth turned me on a little bit. I mean you know they’re sexy as hell on you.” Phil shrugged. Dan blinked. “I was surprised to see you with them on, put me in a strange mood I guess. Don’t worry it’ll pass.”

“I turned you on?” Dan said sitting forward a little, dick twitching again. 

“Sure, you do all the time. You know that, don’t you?” Phil said looking closely at another spot and picking up the bottle of stain remover. 

“No, I don’t know that. What in the hell Phil? You are in a weird mood today. When do I turn you on?” 

“All the time. I can’t believe you didn't know. I think this is really working! Look at this, that first spot is practically dry and no sign of red” Phil said smiling, eyes sparkling. 

“Phil I don’t give a crap about the couch right now, when the hell do I turn you on? Give me an example. All the time? Jesus. Why haven't you said something, or done something?” 

“I like it when you wake up and your face is a little puffy and your hair is sticking up all over. You toss and turn so much in your sleep so much it looks like you got fucked hard in the middle of the night. Which sometimes it sounds like you are, I can hear you through the wall.” Phil said dipping the sponge in the bowl and wringing it out. “Sometimes when you are making all that noise I masturbate to it, it sounds so hot.” 

Dan sat completely shocked. He reached over and put his palm to Phil’s forehead. 

“What are you doing?” Phil said looking up at Dan. 

“I’m checking to see if you have a fever. Who are you, and what have you done to my friend?”

“I’m just being honest. You asked, I answered.” Phil said sitting back on his heels. “My favorite thing is when you take a shower though and you walk around in a towel. You have great nipples. And your soft little tummy, in combination with your hipbones. I mean I just want to kiss that soft skin and bite at your hips.” Phil licked his lips unconsciously. “I send out a silent prayer every time I see you like that. Praying that that towel drops.” 

“Oh my god Phil!? I mean I don’t even know what to say to all this.” 

“You don’t have to say anything. I mean it isn't a big deal, is it? So what, I find you attractive. I mean the whole reason we started talking is because I found you hot. I mean I probably would have talked to you if you weren’t good looking, but I doubt that I would have pursued a relationship of any kind with you. I definitely liked looking at you.” Phil moved his attention to the last spot on the couch. 

“I feel like I fell down some weird worm hole into another universe.” Dan said, he was a bit flushed and surprised to be a little turned on. “I mean I started talking to you because I thought you were freaking sexy as hell, but then when we met all you did was hug me. I kissed you, but you didn't take it any farther. I mean we started talking by flirting really. Why they hell did you not make a freaking move back then?”

“Truthfully, you were a little needy.” Phil shrugged. 

“Ouch!”

“Sorry, you were. I didn’t think it was a good time in your life. I thought you mostly needed a friend, not a new lover. Besides you were going to go to uni soon so I thought you might want some freedom to experiment.” Phil said examining his work on the spot. 

“You know I didn't do much experimenting at uni. I was almost always with you. I really wanted to do some experimenting with you.” 

“Well we did fool around a little bit don’t forget. I mean I could only control myself so much when you would come over drunk, and basically forced me to fool around. I always felt a little guilty afterwards. I liked it when we got drunk together though. Remember? Then afterwards I wouldn't feel as bad.”

“This is the most bizarre conversation….I mean it has been years, and you only would touch me when alcohol was involved!? Why?”

“You’re my friend, why would I touch you? This isn't some romance novel or fanfic where I have been pinning for you for years. Sure, I love you. Sure, I could date you. Sure I wouldn't mind fucking your brains out, but now we’ve been friends for years. I mean you made it very clear back in the day that you had no interest in a relationship besides friendship. You’re not the only friend I would fuck around with occasionally back then. I mean I never did with anyone else after I met you, but before I would have a few casual encounters with friends when we would drink too much, or were bored. I assumed you felt the same way.” Phil shrugged. “There, now we wait. I think this did the trick though.” He started to lightly blow on the damp patches on the couch. 

“Are you talking about me talking to the internet? Phil, you know I didn't want everyone to know my, our, business. Hell, you have always known that I liked guys too. I mean nowadays I am pretty open about it. I’ve loosened up in my old age.”

“I know that. It was just some things you said about me in particular that made me pretty sure you wouldn't want me to touch you with a ten foot pole, let alone my dick. I figured that you had to be drunk to want to do anything with me.”

“Well that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I am the one that freaking kissed you when we first met and the only thing I drank that day was caramel macchiatos.” Dan said leaning back into the couch. “I only had the guts to do anything with you when I was drunk. So what about now?”

“So what about now, what?” Phil said still blowing on the couch. 

“Am I too needy now?” 

“No. You grew out of that years ago. Why?” Phil said looking up at Dan. 

Dan, bit at one of the rings, sliding his tongue over it absentmindedly, thinking. “So I turn you on all the time. And you love me? And you would date me? And you would fuck my brains out?” 

“Danny, that’s not what I meant. We’re friends. It’s no big deal, not unless you feel uncomfortable with it. I mean it’s not like I’m all of a sudden going to lose my mind with lust and jump you in the hallway. I’ve kept it together this long haven’t I?” Phil said, “Hey look! No spots!” He stood up, grabbing the bowl, sponge, and spot remover, and walked out of the room. 

Dan sat for a moment, then stood and followed Phil down the hall. He came up behind Phil and waited for him to turn around. Phil hummed under his breath while he put the items back, unknowing Dan was there. Dan spoke, startling Phil, “If it’s all the same to you I would rather not use my imagination.” 

Phil turned, “What? Use it for what?”

“I’m going to kiss you, and I’m not drunk by the way” Dan said leaning towards Phil slowly enough so he could pull back if he wanted to. Phil stayed put, their lips met. Dan closed his eyes and moved closer to Phil, pushing him against the door frame. He reached up and cupped Phil’s neck with one hand, the other went to his waist. 

Pushing in closer still, making their hips meet. He could feel Phil was as hard as he was. Phil’s hand moved finally, resting lightly on Dan’s hips. Their lips began to move in unison, their breathing becoming ragged. Phil was the first to roll his pelvis, tilting it to create the delicious friction they both craved, drawing out a moan from Dan. Phil moved his mouth from Dan’s working his way down his cheek, landing finally at his neck. Dan’s breath catching when Phil began to bite, suck, and lick the sensitive area. He moved his hand into Phil’s hair, pulling gently. 

“Oh my god Phil, that f..feels amazing” Dan said grinding into Phil. Phil’s hand moved from Dan’s hips to cup his butt, he lifted and massaged as he continued his administrations to Dan’s neck. Dan’s knees began to feel weak, “Ph….Phil, can we move to the couch or something, I ahh... feel like my knees are jelly.” 

Phil grunted, giving Dan’s arse a squeeze for good measure, before letting go leading the way to his bedroom. As soon as they entered, Phil spun on his heels, grabbed Dan, and practically shoved him on the bed. Dan lay, his feet still touching the floor, looking up at Phil. Phil’s eyes almost completely black with lust. “Take off your shirt.” He said quietly. 

Dan didn’t hesitate, ripping his shirt off throwing it to the ground. Phil watched, licking his lips. As soon as Dan’s shirt was off, Phil moved forward bending down to capture Dan’s mouth once again. Dan’s hand moved up to touch the skin underneath Phil’s shirt. The moment his fingers touched the hot skin, Phil moaned, moving in to straddle Dan’s thighs. Smoothly he moved so that Dan once again was laying down. Sitting up briefly he pulled off his shirt. Dan watched, biting the rings on his lip. 

His shirt off, Phil crashed their lips together once more, both moaning at the new feeling of skin on skin, as well as lips and tongues mingling. Dan bucked up into Phil, needing pressure and friction once more. Phil returned the movements in time with Dan. Both men panting, and moaning into each others mouths. Dan pulled away panting, Phil without a pause moved his mouth to the soft supple neck he had explored earlier. 

“Phil...Please I want you so much, I want you to fuck me.” Dan said between shallow breaths his hand grabbing desperately to Phil’s naked back. He continued to roll his hips into Phil. Phil moaned at his words and began to move down Dan’s body, kissing, sucking, and licking the entire way. He reached Dan’s lower stomach between belly button and pants. Phil moaned again he ran his hands up Dan’s sides while he focused on the soft smooth skin, that was littered with with a line of brown hair disappearing into Dan’s pants. “Oh my god,” he breathed between kisses, “This is what I have wanted for years.” His hands gripped onto Dan’s hips He began to nip lightly at the sensitive skin winning moans from Dan. His hands reaching up to run through Phil’s hair. 

Phil let go of Dan’s hips, moving to unbuckle Dan’s belt and pants. Once undone, he sat up, pulling pants and boxers off at the same time. Dan now naked and throbbing in front of him, mewled at the sudden blast of cool air. Phil wasted no time however, returning his mouth to Dan’s lower stomach. His hand snaking up between his legs, slowing cupping his balls, without pausing moving to wrap around Dan’s already dripping length. Phil moved to bite and lick Dan’s hips, while stroking him slowly. “Phil, please I need you. I want you to fuck me, if you keep doing that I’m not going to last,” He said panting. Phil moaned again, biting once more before standing in front of Dan, taking off his own pants. Dan watched as Phil sprang free of his clothes. 

“Get on your knees.” Phil said, his voice low, dripping with want. Dan dropped down in front of Phil taking him in his mouth instantly. Hollowing his cheeks as he sucked, almost pulling Phil over with the force of it he was creating. “Oh my god, fuck Dan….” Phil raked his fingers through Dan’s hair. He grasped Dan’s head and thrust slowly fucking into Dan’s mouth before pulling out. “Get on the bed, hands and knees.” 

Dan did as he was told, Phil followed and kneeled behind him. He ran his hand slowly over the soft mounds of Dan’s backside. He leaned forward and placed a couple open mouthed kisses on each cheek, moving to the middle. He placed a light kiss to Dan’s entrance, causing Dan to drop from his hands to his elbows unable to support himself. Phil slowly licked from behind Dan’s balls to the top of his crack, tongue flat. Dan shuttered. Phil moved to run his tongue lightly at first to the tight ring of muscle before applying more and more pressure. Dan’s moans growing in strength to match. Finally, Phil’s tongue slid in past the pucker, Dan falling even further down no longer able to support himself at all, resting on his shoulders. Phil reached up, to cup Dan’s balls, massaging them gently. Eventually sliding his hand upward, joining his tongue with his fingers. “Phil…..I’m going to come, I need you t..t..to sto...p, I want you in me, p..please.” Dan whined. Phil grunted again, swiping his tongue once more over the hole before relenting. 

Phil got up and went to the bedside table, opening the top drawer. Meanwhile unable to support himself any longer Dan groaned, collapsing onto his side. Phil returned to the bottom of the bed, moving Dan so that he was laying on his back. Phil crawled between Dan’s splayed legs, leaned over and took his length once more into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks, pulling off with a Pop.

Dan’s eyes were heavy, almost unable to move, his cock red and throbbing, watched as Phil rolled on a condom, and squeezed some lube onto it. Phil reached down bending Dan’s legs spreading them enough so that he could get closer. Dan’s whole body was limp, yielding to Phil as if he had been drugged. Phil leaned forward, kissing Dan’s supple kiss-swollen mouth while he ran his cock through Dan’s crack simultaneously teasing, and prepping the area with lube. Eventually he moved so that the head of his cock hooked onto the tight ring, slowly he pushed into Dan. Dan tossed his head back, muscles still like rubber. He moaned as Phil filled him, bottoming out. Phil stilled waiting for Dan to adjust. 

“Move… I need you to move.” Dan practically begged. Phil did as he was told, and slowly pulled almost entirely out of Dan. He thrust forward slowly, once again, “Phil, move faster.” 

Phil picked up speed, moving in and out until their bodies slapped together over and over again. Phil leaned forward licking into Dan’s mouth, wrapping his arms around Dan’s neck. Their bodies pressed together, trapping Dan’s penis between them. Phil’s hips moved faster and faster, until Dan cried out coming on both their stomachs. His muscles tightening, pushing Phil over the edge of his own orgasm, coming buried deep inside Dan. Dan twitching still from his orgasm, wrapped his arms around Phil as he collapsed. 

“Fuck.” Dan said between shaky breaths. Phil lay spent and sweaty over him, his softening cock still inside. Dan wiggled his hips a little, his body naturally forcing it out. Phil took some deep breaths before pushing himself up, to look down at Dan, he placed a gentle kiss to his lips and rolled on to his side. He reached down removed the condom, tied it and threw it towards the bin. Dan shivered, no longer having Phil’s hot skin pressed to his. Noticing, Phil reached over and pulled Dan into his side, while also pulling up the duvet to cover them both. 

“Ew, Phil, we’re covered in… um…” Dan said lifting the cover quickly gesturing down at their stomachs. 

“Cum?” Phil said smiling. “Hang on,” he reached down off the bed and found his discarded underwear. “Here we go.” He wiped them both off, and tossed his boxers back on the floor. Moving to hug Dan to his side once more. Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder listening to his heartbeat slow to normal. He wrapped his arm over Phil’s waist and signed. “That was…”

“Amazing?” Phil chuckled. 

“Yeah, even though that joke was awful. Amazing…..” Dan said shaking his head while he laughed quietly. “So what does this mean Phil. I don’t want to sound needy or anything but I want to do that again.” 

“Right now?! I’m pretty sure I need some time to recover a little bit.” Phil said smiling down at him. 

“Hilarious. No, not right now, but sometime in the future.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Phil said leaning down and kissing Dan’s swollen lips. 

“You didn't answer my question though, I mean this was good. Great even, but I don’t want it to be a casual encounter.” Dan said not making eye contact. 

“Oh, that.” Phil nodded, “remember when I said I loved you? I meant it. I really do. I don’t think I could be casual with you. I love you Daniel James Howell. I just never thought that this kind of thing would happen.” 

“I have loved you the entire time I’ve known you. Jesus, Phil. Thank god we finally figured this out. Just think if I hadn't put these stupid rings on my lip today? We could have gone forever not knowing this….wait you said you weren’t “pining” for me though? What happened?” Dan looked up at Phil. 

“I lied.” Phil said smiling his tongue poking out the side of his teeth. “How ‘bout tomorrow we go out to dinner to celebrate? Go on a date?” 

“Nah, I don’t really want to.” Dan said. 

Phil’s smile dropped. “What? Why not?” 

“I would rather stay in, and celebrate naked. Then order pizza or Chinese, and celebrate again.” 

“Oh, Ok. I guess that does sound better. You can be the one to answer the door without clothes on though.” Phil smirked, chuckling and pulled Dan in closer. “Now that we have our plans sorted for tomorrow, can we go to sleep? I fricken tired.” 

“You’re tired, I feel like all my muscles are made of butter. Jesus. I don’t think I could stand right now if I had to.” Dan said. 

“I’ll be sure not to start any fires then. Wouldn't want you to be on fire.” Phil said laughing. 

Dan looked at him under hooded eyes, and pinched Phil’s side. “I hate you.” 

Phil leaned over and kissed Dan. “You love me.” 

“Shut up, and go to sleep. I can’t handle any more post orgasmic puns.” Dan said looking side-eyed at Phil. Phil pulled him in even more and kissed him again. 

“Fine, I love you. Even if you don’t appreciate my pillow talk.” Phil said smiling. “I really liked kissing with the snake bites by the way. We’ll have to keep them for fun. I think I would like kissing you with out them more though.” He leaned over, and kissed Dan again and closed his eyes laying back onto the pillow. 

A few minutes passed, Dan just watched Phil’s chest rise and fall, “I love you too, you idiot.” Dan said finally closing his eyes. 

“Good,” Phil said, eyes still closed. “Now go turn off all the lights, the whole place is lit up like a Christmas tree.” 

“I just said I couldn’t walk if I had to.” Dan groaned “I can sleep with them on anyway.”.

“Fine with me, leave ‘em on. It’s your month to pay the electric bill.”

Dan groaned again, but made no effort to get up. Instead he snuggled deeper into Phil’s side.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. Let me know if you did, please. I'd love it if you left some comments. Good or bad. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes, I wrote this and edited it all in the same day. :) Thanks for reading!


End file.
